Vicky Lay
Due 6/10/09
Essay 4
Home
The basic definition for home is a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.1 To take it into a deeper meaning, home is like a smaller community and each member plays different roles at home. Men, women and children, each role carries different desires, personalities and responsibilities. In the past 50 years, the common issue between men and women was the role that each played with the social standard at home. And now we find find how men and women interact with each other through books, movies and music. Home is like the home plate in a baseball game, that everyone tries to reach it. What happen if there are people can not afford to have a house.
To have a home, we must have a house or a shelter to live in. There are families that are low income families and not able to afford a house, then how can they have a home? And here comes the Habitat for Humanity, it an organization found in 1976 that helps low income families to build their own house, “a nonprofit, ecumenical Christian housing ministry. Partner families invest hundreds of hours of their own labor -- sweat equity -- into building their homes and the homes of others.”2 And their mission is “to eliminate poverty housing from the earth. Habitat has taken its vision of a world with no more shacks to 53 nations. To date, HFHI has completed nearly 60,000 simple, decent, affordable houses around the globe.”2 My experiences of working with this group, I found that everyone were working hard to accomplish something and it was not about making money. In the Fall quarter, my class worked on a project with Habitat for Humanity for Chem 121 and Writ 105. We tried to figure out the safest and good quality materials with reasonable prices to build the houses. And last week, we volunteered to actually be part of the building process. All of us worked very hard, but what do we benefit from it? Of course it was a way to earn community service hours, but more importantly we learned to give and help people who are needed, and instead of give them money, we help them by working with them. When a family has a place to stay, they can start to develop their relationship with each other, their personalities, and the social roles they play at home.
In the traditional role of a woman is often in a lower social level than a man. She is a person that takes care of children, cooks meals, cleans the house and serves the man when he gets back home from work. From the traditional aspect of a woman, she should be a nice girl and her man and family are the most important things in her life. In the past 50 years, the culture and the role of a woman had been changed, even though some reminded to stay the same. In the book The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon which published in 1965, the main character Opedipa found out she was the person to take over her ex-boyfriend's estate after his death.3 As her exploration of her ex-boyfriend's death went on, we can see that she was relaying on men, her ex-boyfriend, husband and men that were met during her exploration. In this example, Opedipa shows that weak side of a woman. She needs to depend on others which were men to make her feel better. On the other hand, some women were strong enough not to be depend on men. A song Piece of My Heart sang by Janis Joplin represented a strong and brave woman that's not afraid to be hurt by men anymore. “And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough, But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a women can be tough.”4 She wants to show that she can be as tough as the man. She is going to stand up and becoming independent. “Take another little piece of my heart now, baby. (break a…)Break another little bit of my heart, darling, yeah. (have a),”4 from this part of the lyric, we can tell that she might be hurt by man before and she wants to tell the man who broke her heart that she will not be weak anymore. She is welcoming the man to take another piece of her heart and break it, and she will strong enough to take it. In the society, Janis Joplin is a kind of woman that people will give her respect for being strong and independent. But from the point of view of being a good wife and mom, she might not be the one that men would like have.
To marry a good girl was most men's dream, but for girls being good girls can sometime be a nightmare that brings them pressures. Many mothers told their daughters that men only marry good girls, and they should never do anything to break the rules that were created by the society. In the movie Splendor of the Grass, Deanie Loomis was under pressure of being a good girl. She tried not to have sex with her boyfriend Bud before marriage, and it turned out Bud cheated on her with another girl in the school. And later Deanie got some kind of mental issue that her family had to send her away. One thing that passes on in the the family is the concepts they were given. Deanie's mom asked if Deanie blamed her the way she taught her that led Deane's life miserable for a while. And talking about the concepts pass down in the family, it brings up an issue with the gender. In stereotype of mind, that wife must give birth to at least one boy to pass down the last name. I remember one day I asked my dad what would happen if my younger brother was not a boy but a girl, would you have another baby? My dad answered yes. He said that we must have to have at least one boy in the family. Often in the Asian dramas, the parents of man's side would give heavy pressures to their daughter in law to have a baby boy to pass down the last name. And it is still happening in my culture, but more and more people are open minded especially in United States. I have asked a couple people before about what happen if you don't have any boys in the family? They responded me that they don't really care about the gender compares to 50 years ago, it might be a big deal in the family. Even though the woman's role had became more strong and independent, but they were still trying to satisfy her man since a home is important to a woman.
We can see many men started to cook, clean the house and help raise children, but women are still the ones that doing all this works. From books and movie, woman often playing a role that tries to satisfy the man. In the movie Rear Window, Lisa Fremont was a successful woman that had a good job and well educated. Her boyfriend Jefferries thought Lisa was too perfect for him and she will not be able to fit in his life. Lisa tried to change to satisfy what Jefferries wanted. Lisa could have be an independent woman who did not really need to relay on a man, but she chose to stay and be willing to change for Jefferries, and it was only because she loves him. To a successful woman, love is still an important part of her life that makes her willing to do anything to sacrifice for her man. To relate this to Joanna Eberhart in the book The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin, Joanna and her family moved to Stepford and her husband Walter joined the Men's Association.5 One night Joanna caught Walter masturbating on the bed next to her. “ You could have woke me up I would mind. Gee whiz, you don't have to do that,” she said. “I just didn't want to wake you. You were sound asleep,” he said. “well next time wake me,” she said. From this conversation, Joanna was not happy about her husband's masturbation. She was right next to him, but he was rather to done it without her. For Joanna's feeling, she was upset because it looked like that she was not able to satisfy her husband. She failed as a wife. Later in the story, we found out that the Men's Association had a plan which was turning their wives into robots. After Joanna found out the her friends in Stepford had been changed, she wanted to move away. She talked to Walter about it and told him that she won't be herself anymore next summer. She also questioned about Walter the reason why he wanted to move to Stepford. She asked, “Is that why Stepford was the only place to move? Did somebody pass the message to you? Take her to Stepford, Wally old pal; there;s something in the air there; she'll change in four months.” Walter answered, “There's nothing in the water, there's nothing in the air. They changed for exactly the reasons they told you: because they realized they'd been lazy and negligent.” It explains that reason why when Joanna asked her neighbor Carol to come over to have a cup of coffee with her and Carol responded, “Thanks, I'd like to, but I have to wax the family room floor. Night is the only time to do it, until school starts.” Carol had already turned into a robot when Joanna met her. The only reason why the men wanted to turn their wives into robot could be because they wanted their wives to be perfect the way they want them to.
After reading this book, I cam up with a question. Is it true that Walter did not know what was going on in Stepford, or he knew it, and that was why he brought Joanna there? Is it wrong for a man wanting his wife to be perfect or for a woman be what she wants to be? There is no answer for it. The most significant change of women in past 50 years was they've became more independent, but along with the change men's responds and reacts were both positive and negative. The positive would be that they are happy for women to stand up for themselves and able to do anything men can do. And the negative would be the men do not want women to be independent and gain so many rights because once they get what they want, the men won't be needed anymore. Home is like a small community with issues going on between men, women and children. Each role plays a different character with different issues. And speaking of home, for those poor families that can't pay for their own house, Habitat for Humanity is an organization to get help from. I am proud that there is an organization over the nation, also how the women's role changed over these years becoming what they are today.
Bibliography:
1. "Home." Dictionary.Com. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/home
2. HABITAT FOR HUMANITY. 8 June 2009 http://www.haskell.org/jcp/Habitat/save/mission.html
3. Pynchon, Thomas. The Crying of Lot 49. New York: Harperperennial, 1965.
4. "Piece of My Heart." By Janis Joplin. SING365.COM. http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Piece-of-My-Heart-lyrics-Janis-Joplin/E000E83C91FDD51948256959002C360D.
5. Levin, Ira. The Stepford wives. New York: Perennial, 1972.
